How Can I Ask My Former References to Help Me Again

May 22, 2022 Post a Comment

You're on the job chase and you need to get your professional person references together. And that means reaching out to a sure former dominate who would be the perfect person.

In that location's just one little trouble. You're non exactly in touch. It's been months—or is it years?—since you lot last contacted him. The thought of all of a sudden jumping back into his life to say "Hi, can I add you to my listing?" stresses you out.

Briefly, you dismiss him and begin racking your encephalon for other strong contacts. In that location'due south the supervisor 3 jobs agone who is now freelancing a bit, no known visitor name or impressive title attached to her at present. There'south the colleague who tin can speak to your work but non to managing you (she'll nevertheless work, but non your number one). In fact, you can retrieve of no one better than this person you lost touch on with.

You really simply have one choice then: You lot're going to have to seize with teeth the bullet and rekindle the relationship. The fact is, we all have loose connections in our networks—people nosotros once worked side-by-side with, or used to be shut to, but with whom nosotros don't have regular coffee dates or frequent back-and-forth. Inconsistent contact isn't the stop of the earth.

Equally long equally you go into the ask with a clear mindset and positive attitude, it'll probably piece of work out but fine. If you believe he will give you lot an fantabulous reference, follow the 5 tips below:

one. Own Upwards to the Disconnect

Beginning by simply owning the fact that you oasis't been in touch. Don't ruin it by giving excuses or apologizing excessively. Merely telephone call information technology what it is, and be sincere. Here's an example of what to say:

Hi Mitch,

I can't believe we haven't chatted since we worked at ACME together. I've done a terrible chore of keeping in bear upon, but I hope you're open up to reconnecting now.

ii. Be Transparent Nearly Your Motives

Nosotros're all super decorated with careers, family, and other pressing matters—your reference included! It'southward unlikely that he's going to react with shock when you repent for not existence in impact and ask for this favor all in a span of five minutes. Don't waste material a ton of fourth dimension on small talk; rather, respect his fourth dimension and become to the point:

In training for my next career movement, I've scored an interview with an crawly company I would dearest to work for. I want to take my references prepared in case they request them at the conclusion of the interview. I would appreciate existence able to include you on that list.

3. Give Context

Give this person as much data as possible so that he can share information that makes sense and that places you in a good low-cal. Here's how you can broach this topic:

I don't desire to take upwardly besides much of your time, only I'd similar to tell you a chip near the job, and how my qualifications friction match up. That way, if someone calls with a reference check, you lot'll experience prepared and comfortable responding and answering any questions he or she may have.

Please let me know if you have a few minutes adjacent Thursday or Friday for a quick phone conversation. Alternately, if you're free to come across in person, I'd beloved to buy you coffee.

Imagine if the roles were reversed and you received that electronic mail or phone call. Wouldn't you lot be inclined to respond positively?

4. Prepare Him for the Conversation

Once you become a confirmed yeah, keep him updated. Allow him know when you're interviewing and when he might hear from the company. Bring upwardly specific projects or outcomes you lot achieved while you were working together that would exist practiced things for him to betoken out to an inquiring hiring manager.

Don't presume he remembers everything near your piece of work together, peculiarly if he's had a lot of employees throughout the years.

v. Say Thank You

Of course, if yous receive an offer, share the news and don't forget to say thank you! A thoughtful email will suffice, only a handwritten notation is fifty-fifty better. And, if yous don't go the job, it'due south worth sharing that news too.

Express your gratitude and permit him know that information technology didn't work out with the virtually recent job yous'd told him well-nigh just that you have your sights set on a couple of others. Throw in a line that yous hope he will continue to be your reference every bit you motility forrard in the search. (And hey, you never know, he might know of an open up position that yous'd be interested in, as well.)

Keeping in touch on with all of our connections all the time would be networking nirvana. Only it'south not a realistic expectation. Instead of beating yourself up considering you aren't sure you lot "deserve the reference," remind yourself that people are busy and it's unlikely this contact is going to scoff when he sees your name pop upwards in his inbox. Instead, follow these steps to make a long-lost managing director your most ardent abet and the best possible contact for all potential jobs.

Photo of conversation courtesy of Shutterstock.

Lea McLeod is an experienced managing director, career consultant, and task search jitney. Formerly a director-level director at HP, Lea helps y'all learn skills to build conviction and competence at work and to bargain with tough situations that can be super frustrating. In her articles for The Muse, Lea empowers readers to confidently place and tackle simply about every dilemma at piece of work, from challenging colleagues and bad bosses to interviews to career changes and professional development. Her writing has also appeared in Forbes, Business Insider, and other outlets. Discover her on Twitter and LinkedIn or visit her website. She authored The Resume Coloring Book, a simple and color-coded guide to writing a solid resume.